Project: Hillary the Cyclist - Time to Ride

You guys. Today is the day. Day one of the Ride to Conquer Cancer. (Hold me.)

I'm about to get on my bike and ride about 125km to Mt. Vernon. And then! I'm going to get up the next day and ride another 115km or so to the finish line. I know. I am trying to remember that I signed up for this. This was my decision. I had reasons and there was thought involved and this wasn't some crazy whim. But right now I am just terrified.

I'll try to update Instagram throughout the ride if you want to follow along (and laugh at my discomfort). Hopefully all goes well and I'll be telling you all about how sore my butt is on Monday.

Let's do this.

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Want to learn more about my journey? You can read about how Cap's Krusty's Bicycles got me started here. You can read about what the Ride to Conquer Cancer means to me here.

Friday Faff

What I should be doing: figuring out rain gear for my ride. What I am doing: faffing. Join me?

Taylor Swift. Singing "Smelly Cat." With Phoebe Buffay. Yes.

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Canadians, if you're interested in trying the Diva Cup (trust me, you should try the Diva Cup) well.ca has a 20%-off sale on through the 30th. (Not an affiliate link; I just love the Diva Cup and love well.ca!)

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I've told you about my love for Fabletics before but I need to tell you about the most wonderful bra I ordered from them last month. The Hudson bralette is amazing. It's comfortable and not restricting at all. It's not meant for high impact workouts but it's perfect for yoga, cycling, weights - workouts without a lot of bouncing. (Real talk: I don't just wear mine when I work out. I also wear it out in real life instead of wearing a proper bra.) Now, I don't have a lot of real estate in the boobage area so definitely take that into consideration before you buy one, but if your chest is on the smaller side, and you like comfortable non-bra bras, this is the bra for you. And if you order using my link, I'll get $10 to spend on workout gear (and I will love you forever).

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January 2nd

The end of August is January 2nd and the day after my birthday and the last gingerbread cookie of Christmas. The end of August is so final and a little melancholy. It doesn't help that I've been planning my Ride to Conquer Cancer for over a year and in a few short days it will be over. It doesn't help that there's a full moon this weekend (hashtag: dirty hippie). It doesn't help that my due date is less than two weeks away. I feel unsettled and uncomfortable and bruised.

 I'm surrounded by amazing people. The love and support I've received this week - that I receive constantly - has been overwhelming. My cheerleaders and magic makers and light givers have been sending me messages of encouragement and excitement all week. My people are carrying me through this week to be honest.

I do this thing where I need to talk about all the things, with all the people, to make them less scary. It's not an attractive quality, I know. Part of me worries I look like an attention-seeker (hello, am blogger, hear me talk about my damn feelings) but part of me needs to honour that side of me so I can stop spending $200/hour on therapy.

So! I'm afraid I won't be able to finish a 200+km bike ride in two days. I'm afraid that the weather reports are true and we're in for a weekend of rain and thunder and lightning. I'm afraid I'm going to fall off my bike and break my face. I'm afraid I'm going to pop a tire and not be able to change it. I'm afraid that I am going to be so sore after the ride that I won't be able to enjoy the mini-vacation we have planned. I'm afraid that I am going to fall apart after my ride because I've been so focused on finishing that I won't know what to do after it's done. I'm afraid that coming down from the ride coincides with my due date and the combination of the two is going to hit me harder than I can handle. I'm afraid that September is going to be too much. I'm afraid September is already too much.

Project: Hillary the Cyclist - August

This time next week I will (hopefully) be finished my Ride to Conquer Cancer. To say that I am overwhelmed and excited and terrified would be an understatement.

I think I'm ready? I say that with a question mark because I really have no idea. This is the first big bicycle ride I've ever trained for and my training definitely went off-course earlier this year. I've spent the summer getting ready, though, and even though I didn't devote every waking moment to my ride, I've put in what I could and I'm happy. With the help of my amazing family and friends and coworkers and blog readers, I raised over $3,000 for cancer research. I've gone on some great rides and become very familiar with my bike (I shift gears like a mothercussin' PRO now. You don't even know.)

Next weekend's ride will be challenging (I still hate riding in traffic) but I'm ready. A big part of why I wanted to do this ride was to finally feel strong and capable again. I know this ride is going to kick my ass but it's already made me feel stronger. Stronger and petrified. 

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Want to learn more about my journey? You can read about how Cap's Krusty's Bicycles got me started here. You can read about what the Ride to Conquer Cancer means to me here.