The thing about living in unprecedented times for 18 months (and counting!) is that there is no way to do it right. Every day, multiple times per day, I am either overreacting or under-reacting. And the fun thing is that either way I’m negatively impacting my kids to some degree. My deepest hope is that we - and our loved ones - make it through this unscathed but if I’m being honest, I’m feeling pretty fucking scathed at the moment as I’m trying to sort out the logistics of how to safely bring together seven (unvaccinated) kids (who attend three different schools) and two vaccinated-but-senior grandparents for an outdoor holiday gathering. We managed to do it at Thanksgiving and we all stayed kind of dry and barely warm but that was October. Can we do the same in December? Is a chilly outdoor visit better than Christmas without our family for the second year in a row?
We are six weeks, three sick days, and two (negative) Covid tests into the school year. I don’t know how to continue to do this without losing the extremely tenuous grasp I currently have on my sanity. I am throwing Vitamin C down my kids’ throats in a desperate attempt to ward off illness because a solitary sniffle can throw off our entire day. I’m trying to trick my brain with daily exercise and Vitamin D to try to ward of the malaise that’s creeping in with the grey mornings. I am running on fumes and I am tired.
And I’m lucky! Oh my god, I am so lucky. I am employed and housed and relatively safe. I know how much worse this is for so many other people. But I am so tired. I’m furious at those who crow that this is now the “unvaccinated’s pandemic” while ignoring the fact that my kids are included in that group. (And if you feel inclined to tell me that Covid doesn’t impact kids as much as it impacts adults, please don’t. That is a ghoulish balm that brings me no comfort.) I’m sad that so many people who could be vaccinated are choosing not to participate in the greater good for our communities. I’m frustrated that everything takes so much more thought and coordination and there is no chance for a break. I’m worn out and I am tired.