It's December 1st and it's impossible not to notice the Pinterest-worthy trees and fireplace mantles and families filling my social media feeds. It's enough to make a gal feel a little inadequate.
Not that people shouldn't enjoy the things they enjoy, and post about them wherever they please. I think we can all agree it's a bit gross to tell people they shouldn't decorate the crap out of their Christmas tree and then post pictures of that mother with the perfect Instagram filter and just the right amount of faux bokeh if that's something they enjoy doing.
It's just that this time of year gives me a bit of a case of the "I shoulds." I should buy us coordinating outfits and hire a photographer and take a family photo to plaster on the Christmas cards that I should lovingly address by hand. I should craft an activity advent calendar that teaches Grady the true meaning of the holiday season. I should figure out what the true meaning of the holiday season is to me.
I don't want Grady to learn this way of holiday shoulds. I want him to embrace the holidays and enjoy the frenetic pace without wanting to be something or someone else. Which means that I have to embrace the holidays and enjoy the chaos and stop wishing I was someone who could decorate a damn Christmas tree without it looking like someone just threw a bunch of lights and ornaments at it to see what stuck.
I'm working on it. I'm a work in progress. I'm trying very hard to be good because I have no hope of being perfect and trying to achieve the unachievable is the quickest path to a miserable holiday season.
So here's to being perfect enough. Perfect enough to make my family feel loved and appreciated. Perfect enough to spread holiday cheer with a smile or a plate of fresh-baked Christmas treats or a bottle of wine that I will longingly watch you drink (it won't be creepy, I promise). Perfect enough to appreciate the holiday season for whatever it turns out to be instead of wishing it - or I - could be different somehow.