I got you

When Poppy is upset or sad or hurt or tired, she clings to me and mutters "I got you, I got you, I got you" in my ear. It's one of those things that makes me feel like I'm doing some of this parenting stuff sort of okay. I've done my best to not shush my babies when they're upset. I don't say "you're okay" or "you're fine," I say "I'm here" and "I've got you." And now Poppy knows when she needs someone or something, she's got me. She's got all of us. It's so good for my mama heart to hear Grady comfort her in the same way. "I've got you, Poppy Doodle," he says as he pats her back. "I got you, Grady Bug," she replies.

If you asked me to, I could list a hundred things I do wrong off the top of my head. Like, without taking a breath. I can describe Mount Laundry in great detail. I can list the number of times I've lost my cool and used my snippy snappy voice when my kids / husband / dog / life didn't do what I wanted exactly how I wanted. I can tell you about the pink slime growing in my bathroom sink, the processed crap I ate for lunch instead of green vegetables, the shameful state of my inbox, the weird buzzing noise my fridge is making that I'm choosing to ignore rather than investigate / fix, and on and on and on. 

But what will that accomplish? Will telling you how terrible I am make you feel better? Probably not. Will telling you how terrible I am make me feel better? Definitely not. I'm not saying we have to be all positive all the time. I'm not saying we should tamp down our struggles and grit our teeth and smile. I'm saying instead of choosing to be self-deprecating, instead of highlighting the many ways I get it wrong on a daily basis, I want to tell you what I'm doing right. Not because I think it makes me better than anybody else. Not because I think this one win means I'm doing it all right all the time. I want to tell you what I'm doing right -- right now -- because it makes me feel good, and because I hope it encourages you to tell me what you're doing right. I got you. 

A Little Fun

My friend Nilsa posted this list of prompts and it was fun to read on her blog so I thought I'd snag it for mine.

The highlight of my week was when my mom and little sister brought my niece and nephew over to keep Grady occupied, and they made me soup and cleaned my kitchen while I took the longest, hottest shower in the history of long, hot showers.

The low point of my week was when I got the results from what was supposed to be my last pregnancy-related blood test. My HCG level still hasn't dropped enough for me to be considered unpregnant so the weekly blood tests continue. This week was my twentieth blood test of 2015. It is getting tedious. The good news is that my level is still dropping so I'm making progress, just not quickly enough to be comforting.

The best book/article I read was When Things Fall Apart. Pema Chodron is my homeboy/lady.

My favourite photo I took was of Grady's bedtime stall tactics. He's started doing this thing where he'll casually lean against the wall and start multiple conversations with, "So Mommy..." and it cracks me up (and annoys everloving hell out of me because GO TO SLEEP! SLEEP IS AWESOME!)


This week's workouts were nonexistent. No, you know what? I took Grady on a couple good walks and I walk Wolfgang every day so this week's workouts were of the walking variety and I will do better next week.

The best money I spent was certainly not the money I spent online shopping after I drank a pitcher of gin cocktails. It was a tough week. And Banana Republic has an excellent return policy. So whatever, retail therapy. It's a thing.

My plans this weekend are pretty extensive (for me.) Last night I went to my brother's new condo with my entire family and ate pizza and watched the littles run around like crazy people. This morning I FaceTimed with one of my favourite people who unfortunately lives in England so I never get to see her (sad face.) This afternoon I am meeting a friend downtown for (decaf) coffee. Then I'm meeting up with other friends for a dinner celebrating my best friend's wedding because her bachelorette party was a few weeks ago and it fell right in between my two surgeries. I missed all the fun activities and showed up for dinner but I was a mess and in pain and left early. Tonight is the redo and it is going to be excellent. We're going here and I'm already mapping out my cocktail strategy. Tomorrow I am going to take Grady to a new playground (weather permitting) and then we'll prep some meals for the week (steel cut oats and hardboiled eggs for quick breakfasts, turkey chilli and beer bread for work lunches, shredded chicken for easy dinners.)