It’s in a Book

My friend wrote a book. This book to be precise.  

I am ridiculously proud of my friend. When her book arrived I cried literal tears of joy. I know how hard she worked on this book. I know that blood, sweat, and tears went into this book. 

But I can’t read it.  

I can’t read any book.  

I used to read all the time. I would crack through a few books per week. I’d have multiple books on the go and switch between stories to read what suited me. I would choose reading over watching tv any day of the week.  

I don’t know what changed. Maybe it’s having kids, maybe it’s my iPhone, maybe it’s cancer and the changes my brain’s gone through on different meds and no thyroid, maybe it’s the lack of sleep, maybe it’s Instagram and the ability to scroll endlessly, maybe it’s the moon. I have no idea. All I know is that I no longer have the attention span to read.  

But I really want to read! I want to read my friend’s book and the other books languishing on my bookshelf. I enjoy listening to audiobooks but there’s something I’m missing by not curling up in a cozy blanket and flipping through the pages of a good book.  

Have you experienced this loss before? How did you retrain your brain to be able to read for longer than 15 seconds at a time? Or am I lost cause?