Cauliflower Cheese Sauce

Listen. I'm firmly planted in the "foods are not other foods" camp. Avocado is not pudding. Bananas are not ice cream. Cauliflower is not rice / pizza / nachos (I needed a fainting couch after that last one).

Now, before you get all "some people have dietary restrictions!" on me, I know. I know that some people can't have regular pizza crust so cauliflower pizza crust is a great way for them to enjoy pizza. My problem is with the "eat cauliflower nachos Guilt! Free!" nonsense. Bitch, please. I eat all my nachos guilt-free. And if you watch the cauliflower nachos video (which I've done approximately 87 times because raaaaage) you'll see that the cauliflower nachos are topped with roughly thirteen pounds of cheese. Not so guilt-free if you think about it. Which I have. A lot.

Anyway. Not a fan.

Until last week. Last week I took the kids over to Vancouver Island to visit my aunt. Nothing makes you realize how little your kid will eat until you're in someone else's home, nixing every single food suggestion they have because you know your darling child will reject it. Ugh. My aunt had a secret weapon, though. She served Grady pasta with cheese sauce. He loved it. Cheesy pasta without the usual side of "crazy mom trying to push carrots and broccoli down my throat." This wasn't normal cheese sauce, though. It was cauliflower cheese sauce. Grady ate -and loved- a vegetable without arguing. Do I feel a little sneaky? Yes. Do I wish that my kid would just eat three square meals every day without fighting and negotiating? Absolutely. Will I let this stop me from sneaking vegetables into his food? NEWP.

So! If you have a vegetable-adverse eater (or if you want to eat cheese sauce Guilt! Free! *eyeroll*), this is the sauce for you.


1 head cauliflower
2 cups grated aged cheddar cheese (or regular, but the aged makes the sauce taste more cheesy)
1 cup of milk (give or take - depends on how thick you like your sauce and how big your cauliflower is)
1 heaped teaspoon mustard
1 Tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce
1 teaspoon salt


In a large pot, cook cauliflower in boiling water until fork tender.

Drain cauliflower and buzz with immersion blender until smooth.

Add cheese while the cauliflower is still hot so it melts nicely. Buzz with immersion blender until well mixed.

Add milk a little at a time, buzzing well with immersion blender (this is key! you don't want lumps) until you reach the desired consistency.

Mix in mustard, Worcestershire Sauce, and salt.

Makes approximately 8 cups of sauce. Freezes well.

Serve over pasta or steamed veggies or thin with a bit of milk or cream to make soup.

Revel in your genius.