Hearts and Heads

If you told me that you were struggling, that you weren't sleeping and you found yourself feeling panicky and afraid in situations that would not normally cause that response, I would encourage you to get help. I would tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of, that mental health is just as important as physical health. I would tell you to be gentle with yourself. To give yourself room to work through these feelings and not get down on yourself for having them in the first place. I would tell you to talk as much as you need to if keeping these feelings inside and silencing yourself is too painful. I would tell you that you are not weak for needing help, you are strong for recognizing that you need help.

I would tell you these things because I believe them to be true.

But I am having a very difficult time believing these things about myself.

I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple weeks ago. I am seeing a psychologist. I feel like a whiner who needs to sack up and get over it because there are people who have it much rougher than I do. I am finding it really challenging to be empathetic to myself and it's ridiculous, I know it's ridiculous with my head but my heart is all "shut up, Hillary!" and my heart is always louder than my head.