I was pregnant at the same time as my little sister, as well as two other ladies who are part of our cobbled together extended family. All four babies were born within a month of each other in 2011.
My little sister and one of the other ladies have since given birth to subsequent babies.
Yesterday was my one-year cancerversary. My brain is full of hormone replacement therapy and scans and blood tests and tumour markers. My heart is full of squishy baby cheeks and fuzzy newborn heads and and snorty, snuffly newborn sounds.
Yesterday I was absentmindedly flipping through Facebook and I saw an adorable pregnancy announcement from the third lady in our foursome of 2011 pregnancies.
It's an odd feeling, to be overjoyed for someone's happy news and simultaneously crushed. My heart is legitimately, overwhelmingly full for this family. And it is uncomfortably achy and mad for my family. (Let's not even talk about the guilt I feel for not being satisfied with the size of my current family and wanting more than the happy, healthy kid I've got.)