2014? Please?

I'm trying to not be superstitious but 2013 is turning out to be a real motherfucker of a year.

Grady's chest x-ray showed something could potentially be wonky with his heart. It could be nothing. The x-ray could be wrong. It's too soon to panic, according to Grady's doctor.

So I'm not panicking. I'm spending way too much time consulting Dr. Google (I will never learn.) I'm preparing for the upcoming echocardiogram (which will be at BC Children's Hospital so hopefully it won't be as rough as the chest x-ray.)

I don't know what to think / how to feel. I know that it's pointless to think of all the scary things it could be. I can logic my way into a positive headspace. But ... this is my kid we're talking about. I'm scared. I can't help but feel scared.