So here's the thing: I am probably a bit of a brat for stating that anyone *has* to show up for me and support me during my tough times. Because here's a third truth: no one owes me anything. I'm not entitled to your love and support. I can love and support you but that's a choice, not a contract. I don't get to tally up the emails and phone calls and hand-written notes of encouragement to cash them in now for friendship points. There is no rule that says if you show up for someone during their struggles that they will show up for you.

So instead of being hurt by the (non) actions of a few, my energy is better spent recognizing and appreciating the many who have shown me kindness and support. I'm a pretty lucky lady to have so many lovely people in my life - both online and in real life (as well as that lovely space where online crosses over into real life.)

I turned thirty last October and I feel like I've learned more in the last ten months than I did in my entire twenties. One lesson I'm continuing to learn, over and over, is that I sometimes expect too much from others. I need to be gentler on people and give them room to screw up and exceed my expectations and let me down and succeed and *whatever* - I need to give people the space to just be who they're going to be. And I need to give myself space to do the same. Even if it means letting myself be a brat sometimes.