Spiral

One month ago I had a small surgery on my eyelid. I had a weird lump and my plan of googling eye cancer and hoping the bump disappeared on its own didn't actually resolve the problem (funnily enough). So I saw my doctor, was referred to a specialist, and then waited for three months for my appointment. 

I had never met this doctor before my appointment. For various reasons, the appointment did not go great. At the end of the day, the surgery was completed and the lump is gone so it was technically successful. But at one point the doctor and nurse were literally holding me down and sticking needles in my eyelid and I panicked. Nothing was explained to me before or while it happened. It was all very abrupt, brusque, and coldly efficient. I'm not such a special snowflake that I need to have my hand held through medical procedures but I do like to have advance warning when things are going to happen to or on my body. 

The surgery happened a month ago and my eyelid has healed beautifully. But I'm stuck in this bizarre anxiety spiral where I constantly feel like I'm on the brink of imminent doom. It doesn't help that two weeks after the surgery I had my bi-annual checkup at the cancer centre (something that sends me down the anxiety spiral anyway).

I feel like the last month has been spent on tenterhooks. My brain is not a very comfortable place to be right now. My feelings are itchy. I drive to work and every car is about to cross the centre line and hit me head-on. I tuck Grady into his bunk bed and wake up five times during the night thinking I've heard him fall out. I don't hear from friends and think I've done something to offend them and now they hate me. I feel like I'm unravelling at the seams. 

This probably comes across as more woe-is-me than I intend. The last month has also been full of shining moments and a lot of fun. It's not all anxiety and doom all the times. That's the thing with anxiety; it creeps up on me. I've been trying to ignore it out of existence for a month but it's not working so here I am, laying it out and leaving it in 2017. 

Exploring my Options with HelloFresh (and having fun in the process!)

The top shelf of my fridge is where condiments go to die. 

That's not an exaggeration. The top shelf of my fridge is completely unusable. It's a bottle and jar graveyard, filled to the brim with discarded mustards and rejected jams. It's shameful. I hold onto things I don't like and won't use because I feel some sort of obligation. We spent money on those things so we're going to keep them, in our fridge, forever. It makes no sense. 

This is one of the (many) reasons I'm enjoying HelloFresh so much. It gives us the opportunity to try different tastes and explore new sauces and condiments without committing to an entire bottle. Last week we had Sesame Soy Steak Bibimbap which included Gochujang, a Korean red chili paste that I don't normally have in my flavour arsenal. Shawn and I both really enjoyed the spicy tang and I can see myself buying it in the future because I already know we both like it. It's a no-risk grocery purchase, destined to be consumed instead of abandoned on the top shelf of disappointment. 

I don't consider myself a picky eater but I definitely fall into a rut of my tried and true meals. HelloFresh forces me to eat a little outside my comfort zone while at the same time giving me the flexibility to choose "safer" meals when I'm feeling less adventurous. It's inspiring me to explore different spices and be open to unfamiliar flavour profiles. HelloFresh adds an element of excitement to mundane weekday cooking and I'm thrilled to have been given the opportunity to give it a try.

If you're interested in trying HelloFresh for yourself, click here for $40 0ff your first box (affiliate link: I will receive $25 off my next box if you sign up using my link).

Read more about my adventures with HelloFresh here:

GET DINNER ON THE TABLE WITH HELLOFRESH CANADA

MAKE WEEKDAY MEALS CONVENIENT AND STRESS-FREE WITH HELLOFRESH

HACK YOUR HELLOFRESH MEALS FOR YUMMY LEFTOVERS

RECLAIMING DATE NIGHT WITH HELLOFRESH

{Disclosure: I received product in exchange for this review; all opinions stated are my own. Since trying this service on a review basis, I have signed up as a paid customer. I truly enjoy and fully endorse HelloFresh Canada.}

Tiny Happy Tuesday: 21

Yesterday I had a terrible day. The kind of day where everything goes so pear-shaped that it's actually kind of comical. Today was shaping up to be similarly frustrating until my parents swooped in to save the day. I want to dedicate this Tiny Happy Tuesday to them.

What is Tiny Happy Tuesday?

Tiny Happy Tuesday is a prompt to stop, drop, and think of all the good stuff (no matter how minuscule) that adds up to one wonderful life. 

• Poppy came down with a high fever while at daycare. I got the call just a few short hours after I arrived at work. Shawn's out of town and I really couldn't miss work today. My parents dropped everything to take my poor Pops home and take care of her all day.
• While taking care of my sick baby, they also cleaned my kitchen and made me homemade lasagne for dinner. 
• Throughout the day they texted me pictures of Poppy and Grady playing, reading, and having a great time. I was able to focus on work without worrying about my babies or my parents. 
• They're coming back to help tomorrow! You guys. My parents are amazing. Sometimes life feels chaotic and unmanageable but it's never completely overwhelming because I know I can always call in the big guns. 

What's making you happy this week? Want to join me? I'd love for you to grab my graphic and join the Facebook group, and share in the fun (don't forget to use the hashtag: #TinyHappyTuesday so I can follow along!).

Tiny Happy Tuesday: 20

What is Tiny Happy Tuesday?

Tiny Happy Tuesday is a prompt to stop, drop, and think of all the good stuff (no matter how minuscule) that adds up to one wonderful life. 

• I got to hold a baby on the weekend. A new baby. A freshie. Younger than a week old. He was delicious.
• Today I was having a high-anxiety, low-patience day and I was given opportunity after opportunity to acknowledge that I'm surrounded by excellent people, and that anxiety doesn't equal weakness. 
• My siblings are all sorts of wonderful and don't make me feel dumb when I ask them to explain stuff to me. 
• Grady's utter lack of a filter is both hilarious and soul-crushing. ("I'm sorry I don't want to hang out with you, Mommy. It's just that Daddy's fun and you're kind of boring.")
• Poppy is smitten with Grady's Lego Darth Vader clock and it's hilarious. She carries him around and gives him hugs and cuddles.
• Shawn's oldest friends from back home were in town this weekend and they came over with their amazing kids. I've met them two times in real life but I love them and I want them to be my friends and they don't make me feel awkward or lame for saying stuff like that. 

Want to join me? I'd love for you to grab my graphic and join the Facebook group, and share in the fun (don't forget to use the hashtag: #TinyHappyTuesday so I can follow along!).